A blonde is wearing a pair of socks that don’t match, one is red and the other is green.
Her friend sees her out and says, “You know your socks don’t match, right? You’re wearing one red sock and one green sock.”
…
..
.
The blonde responds, “That’s so weird! I have another pair just like it in my drawer at home.”
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The Policeman had stopped the man
The Policeman had stopped the man for obvious drunken driving,
but since the guy had a clean record, he made him park the car and took him home in the patrol car.
“Are you sure this is your house?” the cop asked as they drove into a rather fashionable neighborhood.
“Shertainly!” said the drunk, “and if you’ll just open the door f’me, I can prove it to ya.”
Entering the living room, he said, “You shee that piano? Thash mine. You shee that giant television set? Thast mine too. Now follow me.”
The police officer followed the man as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor. The drunk pushed open the first door they came to.
“Thish ish my bedroom,” he announced. “Shee the bed there? Thast mine! Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. An’ see that guy lying next to her?”
“Yeah?” the cop replied suspiciously. Beginning at this point to seriously doubt the man’s story.
“Well, thash me!”
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A bus stops and two Italian men get on.
They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one lasta time.”
“You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our s*x lives in public!”
“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talking abouta s.e.xa? Imma justa tellun my frienda how to spella “Mississippi”!
